


Olivia shay

by Thefifthmarauder



Series: Olivia shay [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Pretty Little Liars, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Behavioral Analysis Unit (Criminal Minds), Dark Magic, Explicit Language, F/M, Gen, James Potter Lives, James is a cocky prick, Lily Evans Potter Lives, MY LANGUAGE IS AWFUL SORRY, Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, Mentions of Blood, Not Canon Compliant, Original Character(s), Peter is a Little Shit, Remus Lupin Lives, Sirius Black Lives, Threats of Violence, dumbledore is a little shit, everyones a dick, mentions of torture, nothing too graphic though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2019-09-28 02:54:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 15,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17174498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thefifthmarauder/pseuds/Thefifthmarauder
Summary: Au where remus lupin began his teaching job after graduation from hogwarts. On the journey to the castle he meets 7th year student Meagan Olivia-rose Cardosa, A half blood slytherin who has a complexion much like his own. Follow Meagan in her last year of hogwarts where secrets come to light, she figures out who she is and discover how she became Olivia shay- Hard ass shield agent who is running from the life she left behind 2 years ago, but what happens when the order of the Phoenix come calling on shield for their help.....





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The first few chapters will be a prologue and will switch between present and PAST, hope you enjoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first few chapters will be a prologue to the actual story , this is my first attempt at writing so it might be shit, I'm having a lot of fun anyway tho, hope you like it.

Chapter 1  
Back to hogwarts  
Meagan Cardosa did not want to be like her sister.

As she stepped off the scarlet steam engine she heard the familiar friendly voice of hagrid " firs years this way". His voice boomed over the excited chatter of everyone scrambling off the platform which was understandable considering he was half giant. Meagan made her way to where the carriages that always pulled themselves were waiting to bring the rest of the students up to the castle, she leaned against a stack of luggage and hoped no one would talk to her, or notice her, she was sure they knew, they had to. Meagan put a cigarette to her lips and lit it by just thinking about it, it was a neat trick she learned back in her 4th year. Teachers didn't usually travel by the hogwarts express and Hagrid was already halfway across the black lake so she was fairly certain she wouldn't get caught. She took her time smoking, concentrating on every breath she took, in her effort to be unseen Meagan had failed to notice the huge black winged creature that had a carriage attached to it's behind.  
"Fascinating aren't they" said a soft but husky voice behind her. "This is the last carriage so I hope you don't mind sharing". Meagan just stared.  
"I'm professor remus lupin your new defence against the dark arts teacher, it's nice to meet you".  
Good for you Meagan said without tearing her eyes away from the sky that was now moving unnervingly fast as the creature obviously had little care for it's passengers.  
Would it be rude to ask why she could see threstrals remus lupin thought as he stared at the girl in front of him, she had long curly raven hair that was glowing bright green at the bottom, her dark hair didn't do her any favours though as she was really pale, maybe, he thought, she's like me? No there's no way, Dumbledore would have said if there was a student with the condition.  
"Yes"  
"Excuse me?"  
"Yes it would be rude to ask me why I can see threstrals professor lupin and besides it's not like I'd tell you, I only just met you and I haven't decided if I like you or not."  
Professor lupins mouth hung open  
"I I ddidnt say that out loud"  
"No you didn't, it seems you don't have the balls to say what you think, professor lupin" meagan smirked.


	2. Another year another speech

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't go to well for Meagan at the feast, but she's used to it by now...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again this chapter is a flashback, there will be a few more like this before we head into the present day

Welcome, welcome to yet another year at hogwarts and welcome to our newest set of students who I'm sure will be an asset to the school and all of it's houses , those of you entering your final year of school I wish you the best of luck for the trying times ahead of you all. And now, eat!  
Meagan could have sworn Dumbledore was looking right at her when he said that last part but she was probably being paranoid, everyone had tucked into the glorious feast that appeared in front of them but she could feel someone staring at her. It was too loud in the great hall to hear who it was the noise was too overwhelming to sort through all the voices in her head, little did she know it was that smart arse professor that she had the unfortunate luck of meeting. Meagan liked school, she liked learning and managed to get good grades despite what happened to her sister and her muggle friends.  
She pushed her food half heartedly around her plate, she wasn't hungry in the slightest and no one would notice if she wasn't eating. Rose Sloane who was a 5th year was already trying to shove her pureblood cult like beliefs down the newly sorted students throats. Slytherin only got 4 students this year, and none of them looked terrified at the thought of being superior to anyone of half blood or muggleborn descent. Meagan rolled her eyes as she heard Rose shout "PURE WILL RULE" gaining the attention of all the slytherins at the table who nodded and cheered in agreement. Meagan didn't understand this whole pureblood shit, why did it matter? She was a half blood but her half sister Ali was a pureblood and much like rose to be honest, Meagan had brought shame upon the most 'noble and dark ' house of dilaurentis just by being born apparently.  
"Tell me, Meagan,how is it that one of the greatest witches of the dark has a half breed of a sister like you? I mean are you sure your even related, If so I'm not surprised she turned on you, I'd do the same if I had the pleasure of being related to a filthy half blood like you".  
Rose stood with her hands on the table with a huge smug smirk on her face with her gang of followers beaming next to her, Meagan stood up and flicked her long hair behind her shoulders and stared at rose, her face emotionless as the tips of her green hair began to turn red with anger.  
"My sister, is a psychopath and if you look up to her then I suppose you'll end up right where she is now rose." Meagan said as she walked out of the great hall sparing a quick glance at rose and her "girlys" struggling to get out of their strait jackets.


	3. Detention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meagan gets detention, sort of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things written in *stars* are thoughts.

Meagan made her way through the empty corridors, the feast was not yet over and no one would be up the astronomy tower as lessons didn't start til the morning. As she climbed the less than safe staircase she took a minute to catch her breath at the top, she headed to the balcony that enclosed the open 'classroom' which was really just a lookout tower high up with the window missing. Meagan inhaled deeply as she took a drag of her cigarette.  
"You know that will kill you right".  
Shit.  
Meagan spun around to find professor lupin standing at the top of the stairs leaning against the wall.  
"You, have detention, with me, tomorrow night 8pm".  
"You can't give me detention for having a fag"  
"Well actually I could and probably should but you have detention for that little stunt you pulled at the feast".  
"Why professor, I have no idea what you are talking about" she said coolly as she turned back around to stare at the stars.  
"You cast a spell at fellow students of yours which caused them distress and therefore you must face the consequences."  
Meagan smiled slightly, "Professor, did you hear me say anything? Speak an incantation? Did I have my wand out? I'm sure the people sitting next to me would have noticed if I had my wand out, you can ask them if you like".  
"Well miss I didn't see you personally with your wand out but that doesn't mean you didn't do it".  
" I never said I didn't do it but you can't prove that i did Can you professor?".  
"Well er well..NO that's not the point you still have to be punished and therefore will still serve your detention."  
"Is this your first official professorly thing sir? Am I your first?". She devilishly grinned.  
" I suppose I could come to your detention if it makes you feel better about your ego professor, you used to be a student here didn't you? I think I remember you your not that old I mean half the 6th years look older than you!".  
Professor lupin smiled, "yes,yes I did and if I remember correctly you were just a few years below me? Maggie is it?"  
Meagan shook her head.  
"Marlene"  
"Nope"  
*hang on did she just insult me*  
"Meredith"  
*My ego is just fine thanks very much*  
"Oh Jesus Christ she muttered under her breath, my name is Meagan, Meagan Cardosa, my friends call me meg".  
"Meg".  
"No professor, only my closest friends call me that and since you came all the way up here just to give me detention on something you cannot prove I'd say you've got a long way to go before you start calling me that, and yes I did just insult you, if you knew me you'd know not to take it personally."  
"Well Miss Cardosa, I will see you tomorrow and don't forget your detention, don't be late, and before I leave give me your lighter".  
"Excuse me?".  
"I told you, smoking kills Meagan and there's nothing more infuriating than being unable to act on your cravings when there's nothing there to help you".  
"You're infuriating, professor lupin, besides, living is overrated".


	4. Moonlight confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Professor lupin learns more about the student he is 100% convinced is just like him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meagan is 18 and turned 18 a few days before term started, term began on september 3rd if anyone is interested.  
> The scene at the end of the chapter is based upon the dark baptism from the chilling adventures of Sabrina and I have changed parts of it but the concept is very similar.

Meagan woke up early, far too early in her opinion, it was 6:17am and she had been tossing and turning all night long and had a mere hour and a half of uninterrupted sleep.  
"You had a nightmare last night meg" said issy Stephens, a pretty blonde girl who was one of the nicest people Meagan had come across, issy was never mean or ever got involved in conflict with anyone and Meagan didn't think there was a student in the whole school she disliked- even Rose Sloane, why the sorting hat had put her in slytherin she had no idea, she was much more a hufflepuff.  
"Wow your observational skills are marvellous iss".  
"Are you alright?".  
"No I'm not, no I don't want to talk about it, and I'm going to get ready".  
Issy frowned, meg didn't usually change behind the curtains, much less in the bathroom, she would have to ask her later why meg was suddenly so shy about getting changed it was only last year that the pair of them had stood in front of the mirror and argued over who had the best boobs.

Meagan got through the school day without incident though not for lack of trying. In charms class which was one of megs favourite subjects, they were copying down notes on a new spell, professor flitwick said they wouldn't be learning too many new charms as they would be preparing for their final exams. *Oh the things I would do to her, do you reckon its true that she'll speak Spanish for you in the bedroom if you do her good*  
Meagan stopped writing with her quill and grabbed a spare bit of parchment from her bag, she scribbled something on it before screwing it up and launching it at the boy sitting 2 rows behind her.  
THINK OF ME LIKE THAT AGAIN AND ILL MAKE YOU BEG FOR YOUR LIFE IN SPANISH  
She threw her head back to see the boy,Derek Webber had gone white as a sheet and looked like he was definitely going to faint.

As 8pm approached Meagan Sat in the window ledge in her dormitory, she had cast a charm so that the smoke and the smell wouldn't bother her roommates and if anyone other than them came in then all's they'd see was Meagan sitting staring aimlessly out of the window. Meagan shared the dormitory with issy Stephens, a dark haired girl named Lexie Denver and another girl named Brooklyn who was extremely popular amongst both the boys and girls of hogwarts so Brooklyn hardly ever slept in her own bed.  
Meagan made her way up to the defence against the dark arts classroom, she considering just not going but she had class with professor lupin tomorrow and she didn't want it to be unpleasant. Sighing, Meagan knocked on the door.  
"Come in". Said a friendly voice  
Meagan walked down the middle of the classroom, desks on either side until she let her bag fall down her arm at a tabke in front of professor lupins desk.  
"No, come and sit with me miss cardosa".  
He knows, he knows.  
Reluctantly Meagan moved slowly into the chair in front of his desk. "Tea?". "No thank you, I prefer coffee".  
"Is it not a bit late for coffee Meagan?". " I didn't sleep very well so unless you want me to sleep through whatever punishment you have planned.....  
"Right right coffee it is, how do you take it?'.  
"Black, no sugar".  
"Have you enjoyed your time at hogwarts Meagan?".  
"I have".  
"Have you given any thought on what you'd like to do once you leave here?  
"I wanted to be an fbi agent professor, a profiler to be exact but I'm not sure that's possible now".  
"Why not? I've seen your file Meagan your grades are good and apart from a few minor issues your school record as a whole is fantastic".  
"It's not my grades I'm worried about professor".  
Meagan stared into her cup willing this conversation to be over.  
Sensing she wasn't comfortable talking about this, remus decided a change of subject was in order.  
Where are you from Meagan? Your name doesn't sound English.  
"Pennsylvania".  
"So your American?"  
"No I'm not, my dick head father who was a Mexican doctor went and had an affair with a woman named Evelyn who already had a 2 year old child and a husband for that matter and when she found out she was pregnant she was not happy, she had me in secret and made my father swear to never come near her or her happy little family again, until 5 years later when my father was killed by cartels and I was turfed onto Evelyn dilaurentis's doorstep".  
"You mean the same dilaurentis who is known amongst wizard law enforcement as being an extremely powerful dark witch with an equally powerful daughter".  
"Can I smoke in here?". Meagan didn't wait for a reply.  
"Yes that's the one, Evelyn would be mortified if she found out anyone knew she had opened her legs for a muggle, a forgein one at that, and as you know being a dark witch is not illegal professor and whilst I do not agree with their teachings and methods, I am by birthrite a dark witch. My half sister Alison is an absolute monster and is now in a psyc ward indefinitely because she stalked me and my friends for years pretending to be an anonymous stalker who revealed all our deepest darkest secrets and made us play sick games in order to stop our secrets coming to light. And whilst I'm in the mood for sharing my darling mother has another secret, if you look back far enough down the dilaurentis family tree you'll find 2 distant relatives that were born as fae. Fae are known for existing as beings of the light and can be human they just have extreme magical and healing abilities. I professor lupin, was born a fae, and Evelyn and my sister spent my childhood trying to shove their beliefs and rituals and animalistic ways down my throat because a noble and dark house cannot have a fae in their family can you imagine the scandal? Anyway at the beginning of the summer I was sitting on top of the rosewood clock tower when someone who was 'working' for this anonymous stalker who had named themselves 'A' came behind me and he said that he had heard on the police scanner that someone was threatening to jump off the tower and he had come to talk me down, I turned around and he said I was very pretty just like my sister and he stroked my face, I told him to stop and then he said no one says no to me, I said well today, they do and he pulled his weapon out and shot me in the shoulder, it was then that I pushed him ever so slightly but I couldn't control my magic and I sent him flying over the railing of the clock tower, his head was laying at an unnatural angle and there was blood everywhere, I didn't mean to and the rosewood police department didn't take kindly to one of their own being killed, they believed me eventually though when I said It was self defence after much begging and favours I'd rather not think about from my mother. My mother and sister weren't happy at all with me and they decided it was time I was "inducted" into the path of darkness, it was a ritual where other dark witches from different parts of America came and gathered in the woods to witness a young witch or warlock sign their name in the book of the damned, upon which the full extent of your dark powers would be given to you and you had to commit to doing the high priests "bidding" and doing what he says when he said it. The high priest was called father lynx and he sliced my wrist open with his nail over the book and all's I had to do was write my name, but I ran. I ran as fast as I could until I couldn't breathe anymore. The coven of the rosewood nightingales came after me but it was my mother who found me. I'd never seen her so angry she dragged me by my hair back to our mini mansion, she slapped me and dragged me to my knees and said I'd embarrassed her family beyond repair in front of the coven and that I would be punished accordingly, that punishment was waiting in my sitting room, and his name, was Fenrir Greyback.


	5. Severus snape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Professor lupin calls upon severus for his help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm really bad at thinking of chapter titles I'm sorry. Also I will be updating this at least once a day, sometimes more depending on how I'm feeling and how much time I have.

Professor Remus John Lupin was mortified. *did she just say Fenrir greyback*.  
"Professor I wasn't finished and yes I did and if you could keep your thoughts to a minimum whilst I finish my tale of woe that would be BLOODY fantastic sir, it's a bit distracting".  
"Carry on miss Cardosa".  
"When he attacked me, my mother had failed to mention that I was a fae, meaning that greybacks attempt to turn me into a werewolf didn't exactly go to plan... Do you know what happens when a fae is bitten or injured by another magical creature?  
"No"  
Meagan rolled her eyes  
"Well I can't speak to other beasts but to put it simply I am now half fae half werewolf".  
*that's impossible*  
"Nothings impossible, just improbable, and didn't I say you were distracting me. And to answer your next question I do not turn into a wolf at the full moon, I just feel the pain of what was inflicted upon me the night I was attacked, I feel tired before the full moon and my muscles feel like they've been torn apart and the pain, it's just unbearable, just like you".  
" I I don't know wwwhat your talking about"  
"Don't bother lying to me professor lupin, I can hear your thoughts".  
"Are you in pain now miss Cardosa".  
"I'm always in pain sir, as i said fae have magical healing abilities therefore we have low pain thresholds.  
"Stay here".  
Meagan Sat for a minute staring at the bottom of her empty cup, she wouldn't cry, she'd been raised not to do that sort of emotional display of vulnerability. She felt numb, she didn't want to feel anything anymore.  
"Dreamless sleep, professor lupin, should not be given to ANYONE of fae blood or heritage, I would have thought this would have been known to the likes of you, remus.  
"Severus I assure you I have not given her anything except a cup of coffee and I swear upon my life I didn't put anything in it, I would not drug a student severus."  
"What were you doing when you made the drinks"  
" Well I don't drink coffee severus, I nipped to the kitchens to get some when I bumped into a student down there, she was one of yours, nearly sent the drinks flying everywhere she begged me not to give her a detention, how she ended up in slytherin I'll never know" remus chuckled  
"Issy"  
"What did you say Miss Cardosa"  
"She was worried about me, I didn't sleep last night and I told her I was fine, she must of slipped some of the potion in my coffee when she bumped into you professor lupin, she doesn't know what I am, what I was."  
" Miss Cardosa, dreamless sleep potion can have effects much like veritaserum for people like you, once professor lupin asked you what you wanted to do with your life, in your heightened emotional state you told him everything you've been trying to keep a secret,and once someone under the influence starts talking,they can't stop, do you understand?"  
* I didn't think she was the type to spill her guts all in one go, she's pretty tough*  
Meagan just nodded, she didn't know what to do.  
"Professor lupin has informed me of everything you just told him, I will be discussing this with the headmaster and rest of the heads of houses and if they have any concerns that would normally warrant writing home they will be discussed with me or professor lupin instead, is that clear miss Cardosa?"  
"Yes sir" Meagan said, her voice barley a whisper, she didn't need sympathy, she didnt want help or their pity she could deal with this on her own, she had to.  
"Professor lupin tells me your in pain, I'm going to brew you something similar to wolfsbane and it will make the pain more bearable" professor snape said as he glided out of the classroom, his robes fluttering behind him.  
Meagan lit another cigarette as she stared at the floor determined to not meet professor lupins gaze.  
" Don't look at me like that, I'm 18 I can decide for myself if I want to send myself to an early grave"  
"You shouldn't say things like that, you've got your whole life ahead of you and believe me I know, it feels like the world has ended but it hasn't, the world doesn't stop turning because bad things happen Meagan..  
Meagan looked up at the pale professor, she tried her hardest to look emotionless but her eyes screamed "Help me", he really was rather handsome, even with the scars she could see across his face, it didn't matter to her, she had plenty and he probably had more, he seemed to 'own' the look and it seemed he had accepted who he was. She wasn't about to say that out loud though, thank God he couldn't hear HER thoughts.  
" Is there something else bothering you, anything else you want to tell me before you leave Meagan?"  
Meagan ran her fingers over her shirt sleeve, she hadnt worn her cloak it was still too hot even in September, this year she had chosen to wear long sleeves, her trademark cardigan which she had bewitched so the neckline Sat lower than the standard uniform issue, a black skirt with a green belt with a snake on it and black tights.  
" No professor, I'm fine".  
"Your lying"  
"I'm not ready, professor, please don't ask me that again".  
"When your ready, Meagan, my door is always open, or if it's closed, just knock"  
Meagan picked up her bag and walked toward the door, as she reached for the handle she turned towards the front of the class, professor lupin looked at her with a sad smile, "thankyou, professor" she said as she wiped a solitary tear from her cheek.


	6. Son of A Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Christmas fast approaches, Meagan has already put her name down to stay at the castle, mistletoe has appeared in every doorway and nook and cranny in the castle but Meagan isn't interested, nor is she feeling very festive. Dumbledore shows an unnerving interest in Meagan.

Meagan had managed to stay out of detention for the most part, she wasn't bothered to much by having it, just by who it was with. She had been given a stern warning in front of the whole of her transfiguration class for talking back to a fellow student and whilst other students knew to keep their mouths shut and their comments to themselves during professor mcgonagall's class, Meagan was less inclined.  
Hearing people's thoughts really was a bitch.  
She didn't even have to try, she could just hear them it wasn't like legillimency there was no spell or focus needed it just came naturally.

 

During breakfast a few weeks before the Christmas holidays, everyone's meal was interuppted by the morning posts, hundreds of owls of all variety swooped into the great hall and the owls weren't exactly careful so most of the post ended up in people's cereal. Meagans heart stopped a little every time she received letters, she hadnt gotten any since her sister had been arrested, and Meagan saw that as a good thing, her eyes went wide as a beautiful white snow owl with a single brown feather landed gracefully in front of her coffee and placed a letter down in front of her, the owl then took off before she could feed it something for it's trouble.  
The writing on the letter was elegant and curvy and if she didn't know any better, Meagan would have thought the author hadnt even used a pen.  
Dear Miss Meagan Olivia Rose Cardosa,   
Kindly join me in my office once you have finished breaking your fast   
Regards   
Headmaster Dumbledore 

Meagan put her coffee slowly down on the table and stared, her mouth slightly open as she looked at the letter again.  
"Whose that from meg?"  
"It's from the headmaster iss, he wants to see me right after breakfast"  
"What did you do?"  
" I'll have you know I haven't cursed anyone in at least 3 weeks issy!"  
Issy rolled her eyes smiling.  
" Oh alright well I didn't get CAUGHT in at least 3 weeks" Meagan said with a small grin.   
Meagan made her way up to Dumbledores office stopping on her way for a cigarette of course, she didn't like this, why did he want to talk to her? She couldn't be getting expelled could she?  
Meagan stopped outside the stone gargoyle  
* skittles*  
"Skittles?" She said a little confused, the gargoyle moved with a loud crunch revealing a spiral staircase.

"She'd be perfect for the order remus, don't you think?"  
"All due respect headmaster, she's 18"  
" ah yes mr lupin and as I recall both you and Mr black were extremely eager to join at 16, as was James, besides,18 is legal in both the wizard and muggle world"  
"I still don't think this is a good idea, she's vulnerable Professor dumbledore"  
"Be that as it may, if she still wishes to pursue the career path of a profiler then my sister Chief Erin Strauss, has agreed she will allow miss Cardosa to join the fbi academy at the end of July, provided she gets some experience in an investigative field, and the best place for that, is the order and she will be an asset to us all given her abilities".  
* You mean her creature classification*  
" it could get her killed"  
" he's right Dumbledore, given what she's just been through she could put herself or others at risk"  
"Ah miss Cardosa, finally, you've kept us waiting"  
" sorry"  
"Not at all, skittle?"  
"I'm not hungry"  
*She reminds me of Sirius, no regard for authority and no manners*  
Meagan shot professor lupin a death glare.  
" Now Miss Cardosa, your not in trouble, don't worry"  
Meagan let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding  
" I have asked you to come here today because I have a proposition for you"  
" Your not my type headmaster, no offence."  
A deep laugh echoed from the corner of the room.  
"Ah no no that is not what I meant, i wanted to ask you if you would consider joining the order of the Phoenix?"  
" You are fuc, ahem ,you are joking headmaster?"  
"No miss Cardosa I am not, I heard that you want to be an fbi agent is that correct"  
" Yes sir, well I did"  
" Well you still can, I wrote to my sister, Erin Strauss and she's agreed to let you join the academy at the end of the year provided you get some experience"  
Meagan just looked up at the wizened wizard with apprehension, surely he must have a screw loose.  
"You are a very talented.. witch and I have no doubt you will excel at this, so I'm sorry to pressure you but Mr black over here came here especially to speak with you should you say yes..."  
"So I can still be an fbi agent? Even with what I did? I killed someone headmaster"  
"Nothing more than self defence Meagan"  
"Mm"  
"So can I presume that it's a yes"  
"It is headmaster"  
Professor Dumbledores eyes twinkled when she said it, " Excellent, after your classes today, please make your way to the empty history of magic classroom on the 3rd floor and Mr black will be there to speak with you".  
"Okay"  
"You may leave for your lessons Miss Cardosa"  
Meagan turned towards the exit of the office, something was bugging her.  
"Sorry headmaster, but whilst my answer is yes, I'd suggest you change your opinion of me, I am still human, just like you three Headmaster".


	7. Shameless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter, walking disaster, Sirius black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some avengers action is coming soon for anyone that's reading this, some of the things written in the story would look better in italics or bold or whatever but I'm writing on my phone so if the paragraphs are a bit all over the place then that's why, again if anyone's reading this I hope they're enjoying it. Sorry it's a short one tonight I'm so tired and my brains not working properly, they'll be a longer one tomorrow.

The castle was buzzing with cheer and joy as everyone chatted excitedly about their Christmas plans. It was snowing outside but the castle was lovely and warm with a fire lit in every hearth and some students had even conjured them and carried them around in little bottles. Most of the school would be going home for Christmas and were looking forward to seeing their families again.  
If only.  
Meagan made her way up to where Dumbledore had told her to meet Sirius. She didn't know what to expect, was she supposed to address him as Lord? Although disgraced, Sirius was the heir to the house of black and had reluctantly taken this position after his parents had died, Sirius had made it clear to the public and the media that he would be shining a new light upon the house of black and was determined to drag the name out of the shit.  
She was too tired for this shit.  
Meagan knocked on the door.  
"Yes?"  
As she opened the door she glanced around apprehensive, she looked toward the window at the front of the class where a tall, tanned, muscular but not the bad kind, the good kind where it was just enough to make you look, young man was standing, his black hair was swept into a loose bun with strands falling around his face.  
"Meagan! Sirius exclaimed, you came!   
"Well it's not like I had much choice"  
"Drink?"  
Meagan was about to protest when he pulled out a bottle of firewhiskey and two glasses from the drawer.  
Sirius poured himself a little more than he should have done and poured her a little less than she would have liked.  
"Your not gonna make me call you Lord are you? I mean I can do if your into that sort of thing but you don't look very er   
"Lordly, yes I'm aware I don't look like the type and no I despise being called Lord, Sirius will do just fine, Dumbledore has asked me to talk to you about what joining the order will entail, do you know anything about what we do"?  
"You don't mind if I smoke in here do you, no? Great   
" a little manners wouldn't go amiss meagan"  
"Oh like your one to talk I heard the things running through your head in Dumbledores office, even I wouldn't say some of those words out loud, you have the restraint of a 4 year old in honeydukes, so don't lecture me about something you won't do your self , that's called being a hypocrite Sirius."  
Sirius just stared a little dumbfounded at the young woman sitting before him, she was nothing like hed ever met before, no one had reduced him to being unable to find his words until this day, she was special.  
" alright then well how about this, you give me a cigarette and I'll stop being a hypocrite okay"  
" You know that's not very professional of you, asking a student to lend you a fag"  
* remus was right, she's god damm BLOODY infuriating*  
" I'm not your teacher"  
" hmm well, I suppose, if you say I don't know what's that word again...please, Lord black".


	8. The 100 year old virgin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia shay sat in the lounge of the avengers tower chewing her fingers anxiously ,silently fuming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, this is a little glimpse of agent shay, its set in the present, not much in the terms of story happens in this chapter it's a bonus chapter I wasn't going to put this in until later but I feel crappy, it's new years eve and I still have another day of work before I finally get a fucking day off. I might post another chapter later, if not it will be tomorrow, again I don't know if anyone's actually enjoying this but if you are I'm glad and thankyou! Happy New year! Im really proud of this chapter and for the sake of my sanity and the story (Mainly my sanity ) were gonna pretend like infinity war didn't happen okay.

"HE FUCKING WHAT NOW FRIDAY"  
" Sergeant Barnes has been back at the compound for two hours agent shay, I believe he is sparring in the gymnasium with Captain Rogers"  
Sparring my fucking arse  
Olivia stood up hastily, her anxoiusness and worry long gone replaced with anger and relief. Mainly anger.  
" Would you like me to inform the pair that you'll be making your way down agent shay?"  
"Absolutley fucking not friday, they deserve this, can you please inform everyone I need them down in the gym friday"  
" of course, I presume you'd rather me not mention your bad temper to them agent shay"

Tony fucking fuckwit stark and his stupid bloody tech.

Sergeant Barnes or ' Bucky ' as his friends called him had been away on a mission for 6 weeks when three weeks ago, he went dark after a run in with some rather nasty hydra agents, he had only managed a simple " I'm not dead " message to the team before Steve had gone out with Sam and Nat to locate and rescue him. Liv had been livid when she found out Steve had gone off to rescue Bucky without even telling her, probably because he knew how she would react. Olivia, Bucky and Steve were best friends, she regarded them as family and they the same for her. 

"JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME"  
"Oh shit"  
" Your on your own, sorry buck"  
" Oh no you don't get off that easily you dick head"  
" is there any reason to use that language liv I mean really"  
" You, Steve Rogers, are an arsehole, and until you make it up to me your ' liv ' privileges have been revoked, you call me Olivia from now on until I say so understood"  
* Holy shit she really is mad *  
Tony, Nat, Thor, Wanda, Clint and Bruce had gathered around the three with amusement as they watched the argument unfold. Olivia stood with her hands on her hips In front of Steve and Bucky, Wanda watched with a smirk on her face, she knew her friend wasn't mad, not really. Liv had been worrying herself insane ever since Bucky had gone dark , and even with her psychic powers Wanda could tell her friend relieved and that her anger was just a mask. Wanda was the only person on the team aside from Bucky and Steve who could talk some bloody sense into her when she was having a ' display of emotions ' as the team had taken to calling it. Tony had tried to talk to her once when she was having a particularly bad day, earning him a few ( or many) choice words from liv and some he hadn't even heard before, Tony wasn't very good at feelings, neither was liv but Bucky and Steve were different, she was happier with them two around , they didn't expect anything from her they didn't ask her to talk or pressure her about what was wrong they were just there, and Bucky and liv made an exepctional duo when they were in the field and steadfastly refused to go on a mission if they weren't paired up, much to Steve's chargin.

" Hell yes I'm fucking mad James, you've been back here for nearly 3 hours and you came straight here to frolic with your star spangled banner"  
Livs comment had earned her stifeld giggles from the team and a not so subtle laugh from Bruce.  
" He's not my boyfriend I'll have you all know " Steve shot them that glare that he did when he was unimpressed.  
" Wait he's NOT" said Tony, holy shit Steve you really are going to die a 100 year old virgin"  
Bucky tucked his hair nervously behind his ear, something which used to drive liv up the wall to begin with because it reminded her of him, no, she wouldn't think about that. Not now, not ever.  
" I'm sorry liv, I did say I wasn't dead "  
" Not being dead and being fine are two completely different things Bucky"  
Bucky just grinned up at his friend, the grin that made her relent every time. Every fucking damm time.  
" No , don't do that, don't grin at me I am fucking seething with you bucky"  
"No your not, you just called me Bucky and when you stop referring to me as the name on my birth certificate, your not mad at me, you weren't to begin with " he said his voice a little lower at that last statement. Olivias reputation as a cold hearted bitch as she'd once heard Tony think after a disagreement after a mission went South, wasn't exactly fitting however even Tony billionaire-fucking-extrodanaire Stark knew not to get on Agent Olivia Shays bad side, it was just a mask, one she had worn every day for the last 2 year's since joining the avengers, most people just gave up trying to break through the shield she surrounded herself with , but not Bucky and Steve, and not Wanda.  
"Come here" said Bucky as the two supersoldiers enveloped her in a back breaking hug.


	9. James potter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's been a little time jump to may , I'm trying to get to the main action of the story so just bear with me, it will get better ( I hope ) .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my promise to write daily was short lived, I've been so busy and it's too much to do it every day so from now on I'll update when I can, a few times a week. If anyones reading this let me know if you like it , only a couple of chapters and then we move on to the actual story so if anyone's sticking with it, thankyou!

January passed in a lull, like it always does, Meagan had been officially introduced to the ways of the order of the Phoenix thanks to the weekly meetings with none other than Sirius black. Meagan didn't like anyone very much anymore but every time she walked out of that classroom she was sure she felt a little less empty.  
Meagan had grown used to the whispers that followed her everywhere she went , the stares she could deal with, it was the unsaid things that bothered her. Rose Sloane had taken to harrasing and hexing her whenever they bumped into each other, which was fine, really. It was common knowledge to many of the slytherins and probably the rest of the school that meagan cardosa was the one who reduced a noble dark family to ashes, it's reputation beyond repair. The problem was Meagan was afraid she'd follow in her sisters footsteps. 

 

She was having a bad day, her potions class went to shit after she put the wrong ingredient in at the wrong time ,everything was too loud and it was overwhelming, she just wanted it to be quiet. She was walking up to the astronomy tower to finally get some peace when rose and her minions appeared seemingly out of nowhere.  
" You don't belong here, half breed"  
" really? Is that the best insult you can come up with? Half breed, give me a break fucking hell"  
" oooh your not going to kill me are you, I heard you lost your temper and killed a poor innocent muggle officer, who knew, hogwarts might have a murderer on their hands before they know it, we wouldn't want any accidents now would we"  
" You keep your filthy mouth shut you entitled little bitch"  
The ends of Meagans hair burned blood red and rose Sloane was sent flying 15 feet down the corridor, landing amongst a pile of rubble.

 

Meagan Cardosa did not want to be like her sister.

 

Students came rushing out of there classrooms at the sound of the end of the day , stopping to view the scene in front of them, Rose Sloane, notorious bully , was lying surrounded by rubble with a cut to her pretty little face screaming her pretty little head off. Mcgonagall, snape , flitwick and argus filch came running to her aid.  
" It was HER, she's crazy, I didn't even say anything she just sent me flying down the corridor we were only walking past, professors look she doesn't even have her wand out she's a dark witch please you have to help me" she said between hysterical sobs.  
Meagan stood staring at the wall which now had a student size hole in it, her pupils wider than anyone would consider normal. She felt a firm hand on her shoulder and the hand squeezed.  
"If you would, professors I believe that Miss Sloane is lying , you see I was just in this classroom   
* Oh of course you bloody were*  
Speaking with Sirius here when I heard miss Sloane call miss Cardosa some rather crude names and I have to say, Minnie even I would react similar if it was said to me, and I'm afraid your assumption of young Meagan here being a dark witch is unfounded, her power merely surpasses yours and to do what she did even some of the most skilled auros cannot accomplish".  
" very well then"   
"WHAT your just gonna take his word for it? I told you that little Half breed is crazy she was trying to kill me, do you know who I am? I am a pureblood and I will not tolerate this sort of treatment"  
A chorus of laughter erupted from behind Meagan  
" My word is worth a lot around here young lady, and I will not stand by and listen to your bloody pure blood shite and I do know who you are, I sent your father to Azkaban, he didn't go quietly either as I remember, well deserved though , he did torture and kill 6 muggles . I am James Fleamont Potter and you madam, are a fucking brat".  
"I see your still ever the charmer James Potter" Mcgonagall said her lips showing the faintest hint of a smile and was that.. admiration? Shows over, everybody back to class before I start handing out detention , and 50 points from slytherin Miss Cardosa".


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Megan Cardosas status as a dark witch has of course got the whole school gossiping. And hexing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right first of all I'm really sorry I haven't updated in a week or so, my motivation has been none existent and I've been reading some new fics which are absolutely amazing, hope anyone reading this is enjoying it, I'm really enjoying writing it, when I can be bothered that is HA! Also my oc being a fae is sort of based off of reading this fanfic where lucius malfoys sister had been blessed by the fae and he didn't know and James potter had figured it out.I don't remember what it was called but it was really good and I may have read it on Tumblr or here I can't remember. Whilst fae have been in many fanfictions this is the one that inspired me to make my character a fae and I'm not one for not giving credit. Even if I can't remember the fucking name.

" Did you hear, that half breed slut did some super dark magic and sent queen rose flying into a stone wall! Oh the nerve! I cannot believe Dumbledore would allow such a dangerous thing to roam this castle"  
Word had spread that meagan had indeed done just that, except it wasn't dark magic, it was fae magic. 

And she hadnt meant do do it really. She didn't know she could , she was just, so, angry.  
James potter had been her saviour of sorts, he pulled her into the classroom where remus and Sirius were and placed his hands firmly on her shoulders, " just breathe okay, you need to calm down , just breathe"  
Obviously his words did nothing to calm her down sure it was all good and fucking well telling her to breathe but she couldn't, her chest constricted and she was hyperventilating, she'd be mortified at doing something so undignified if she wasn't so concerned with being able to get air into her lungs.  
After she had Sat, trembling on the floor she attempted to stand up and once again was mortified that James freaking potter had to steady her. A chair flew across the room and landed right under her and she collapsed onto it.  
The three men just looked at her with concern, and was that, fear?  
She could feel them staring  
" I won't be like her "  
" sorry what was that"  
" I won't be like my fucking sister. I won't."  
She said in a small whisper staring down at the floor, unable to look up.  
" It's okay Meagan , that, that wasn't dark magic you did back there"  
" it wasnt"?  
" No, it was fae magic. Very powerful magic at that"  
" I ddidnt think that I could erm ahem  
"You thought that was no longer possible due to your unfortunate encounter with Fenrir greyback"  
Professor lupin winced at the name.  
"So I see you have been told about what I am"  
" All order members have miss cardosa, I'm afraid it was neccesary"  
"Mm"  
She chanced a look up at the three standing in front of her, Sirius was smirking. A pack of cigarettes launched themselves at her head.  
" Your aim is downright fucking terrible you twat"  
"Your welcome" he said, still smirking.  
Meagan flicked the packet open without doing anything and wordlessly lit the cigarette. Taking a sharp breath in she looked up at James.  
" You know I wouldn't call my encounter with that monster 'unfortunate more like fucking barbaric, so if you don't mind"  
" I think we've heard enough obscenities from your mouth for one day meagan"  
" Well I do mind actually, it was unfortunate and my friend remus went through the same thing at a much younger age, nothing can change that fact , maybe remus will talk with you about it but you got bitten, lots of people get bitten, many eventually learn to live with it"  
"Yeah well he didn't just bite me"  
" WHAT did you say meagan" Sirius said suddenly standing up straight.  
She swallowed hard, she hadnt meant to say that out loud  
"Nothing"  
The three young men shared looks of understanding.  
"Well, Meagan, I think some training sessions are in order"  
"What"  
" You need to learn how to control your fae magic, it's unstable because of the wolf in you, if you can learn to control it, you will become a very powerful witch"  
"Witch"  
" that's what I said isn't it? James said, half smiling,  
"Yes, you didn't say asset, or thing, or weapon... or creature she added mentally"  
" Well you are a person after all Meagan" James said and Meagan took to leave.

 

" don't think I didn't hear you flirting in there pads"  
Sirius had the decency to look offended.  
"Prongs I've got no idea what in Merlins beard you are talking about"  
" you've been studying with her multiple times a week for months now pads, your telling me you've no feelings romantically toward her"  
"She is quite something prongs"  
" she's dark mate, you should be careful"  
"No, she's from a dark family you dimwit,just like me, and I thought after knowing me James you d know not all dark witches and wizards Are the same"  
"Alright I'll keep that in mind, but still, be careful".

 

Meagan didn't indulge in defending herself against the obscene rumours that were spreading like fiendfyre throughout the castle. She didn't see the point. She'd been through this before. People will always believe shite like that, they never change, and they never say anything resembling an apology when they were proven wrong. Plus she could hear the person or persons who had started the rumour and shed be lying if she said it didn't cross her mind to hex them into next year. Speaking of hexing, the whole four houses had seemed to honour some sort of unspoken agreement.  
Meagan Cardosa, was a dark witch, the worst of the worst and her being a half blood made it that much worse, and Meagan Cardosa deserved to be punished.  
The Gryffindors would sneer at her and shout loudly about having to go and 'cleanse themselves' after being in her presence so as to preserve their 'lightness'  
Honestly it was ridiculous.  
Even the hufflepuffs and ravenclaws had tried to hex her beauty, not that it mattered to Meagan, but she really was rather pretty. And she was very very clever. Her long thick shiny curls made all the girls jealous but they were probably only jealous because her academic talent surpassed them,so they tried spells which would change her hair to a disgusting colour or even tried vanishing it all off. Anything to make her ugly really. Meagan repelled them all, wandlessley of course, leaving the casters dumbfounded and fuming that they had not succeeded. Meagan wasn't privy to just letting people talk shit about her, even if it was to her face some of the time. Whenever she had been cornered or accosted by a particularly nasty bunch of ravenclaw 6th years, Meagan had simply, turned her own hair blue to piss them off. And it had. "HOW DARE YOU WEAR OUR HOUSE COLORS YOU LOWLIFE SCUM"  
The slytherins, however, were more cunning. They left there taunts and spells to the common room, they couldn't be seen doing that to someone in their own house. The problem was the slytherin common room was unavoidable. Meagan climbed through the entrance bracing herself for the insults , and objects that would no doubt come flying her way.  
Something wasn't right, she could sense it, everyone was talking quietly in their little groups, a few doing homework , no one was looking. It was like they were averting their eyes, but why.  
Meagan made her way to go up to the dorm when someone yelled CRUCIO at her and she dropped her bag.  
She wouldn't scream. No , she wouldn't scream , no.  
AAAAAGHHHHHHH  
Meagan collapsed in a heap on the floor.  
A round of applause broke out amongst the fellow slytherins.  
" I hope you don't scream like that in the bedroom Meagan, that wouldn't be very ladylike of you now would it, tut tut it seems we are going to have to teach you a lesson you filthy half breed. Maybe another crucio? I could summon your robes and I could subject you to it in..your underwear maybe"  
His claims earned him nods and shouts of approval from everyone in the common room.  
Meagan stood up, unsteady on her feet, she couldn't concentrate her body was still writhing in agony. She had to focus before he did what he intended.  
The student, a 5th year named Reid Kepner raised his wand once more.  
Over by the portrait hole, someone cleared their throat. Menacingly, if that was even possible.  
It sent chills down the spines of anyone who ever heard it.  
It was Snape.  
And he was. Not. Happy.


	11. Snape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> * trigger warning* talks of self harm and reference to cutting, talks of suicide but nothing explicit* 
> 
>  
> 
> The aftermath of what happened in the common room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay here I am again saying I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while I got caught up reading this really great fic thats super long and once I get into one i cant stop. Anyway I hope anyone reading is enjoying this, comments are appreciated. Also can anyone guess where i get the names for my characters in my fic? I've shit imagination when it comes to that sort of thing haha! This chapters a dark one....

Meagan sat slumped in front of professor snapes desk, staring at the floor, he was sat behind his desk looking at nothing in particular, or maybe everything.   
As usual, Meagan couldn't bear to look up, she merely stared at the floor as if it would open up and engulf her.  
The silence was deafening. Meagan needed something to occupy her hands before she started scratching at her arm, but she knew better than to smoke in front of professor snape.

"Miss cardosa"

Nothing.

"Miss Cardosa"

Professor snape got no response.

"Meagan"...  
She looked up then. His mask of stone had faded and his features were deep with concern.   
"I I don't want to ttalk about this, ssir"  
"Very well then miss Cardosa. Roll up your sleeve"  
Meagans eyes went wide with horror.  
"Did I stutter, miss Cardosa? Roll. Up. Your. Sleeve."  
He stood and made his way to where she was sitting. Severus snape was not a man to defy. But still Meagan wasn't about to show him. She'd done well to conceal it...  
Meagan stood up to leave, which she did ungracefully of course still recovering from the crucio, she stumbled into the wall panicking as her chest got tighter and tighter.  
" iim Not llike....  
She had meant to say her sister however professor snape had other ideas.  
The professor grabbed her left arm and undid the buttons on her sleeve , he looked.. well he looked sort of terrified to be honest. AND then it clicked.  
He thought she was marked.   
He thought she was a death eater.  
Instead of being confronted with that horrifying image of a writhing snake, the word ' half breed ' was engraved into her skin , it was still red like it had just been done although Meagan had been mercilessly scratching at it for weeks now.  
"Oh meagan"   
"It wasn't me sir. Greyback. Funny really, you know considering...  
"Yes I'm aware of what he is, it should of healed by now though if I'm presuming this was done the night you were attacked"  
Meagan had slumped against the wall, this really wasn't a conversation she wanted to have.  
"You presume correct"  
"Which means , miss Cardosa, You've not exactly been helping matters by..."  
"I'm not fucking 12" "sir"  
Snape ignored her insubordination, " So you know then, that it is wrong to do this then"  
He didn't know what to do, severus fucking snape was almost lost for words at this.  
At one time this would have given Meagan something to gloat about.  
"I just.. I wanted to get rid of it..But when it became evident that it was not going anywhere.. I just...i needed...  
"You need not talk further Meagan, just give me your word that you won't do it again"  
Meagan steadied herself to stand up and was rather furious that she had needed his assistance to get up without falling again.  
"How about I give you my word that I will try"  
"I suppose that will have to do for now ,however I must inform someone of this, I presume you haven't told lupin yet? Or black? Or anyone for that matter?  
"No sir" she said weakly  
"Well how about you talk to someone? From the order I mean, you seem quite fond of Lily?  
"Alright I suppose I could but I don't think I want to yet, I barely know her right now"  
"She's said wonderful things about you so far Meagan"  
" Well that's good I suppose but.. I see Sirius quite a bit during the week and I know him better than anyone else so would you er.."  
"Yes I will discuss this with mr black but you have to assure me that you will discuss it with him too Meagan, don't go getting all cold and closed off that's not healthy"  
Meagan stifled a laugh.  
"I'm not cold sir , at least not by your standard"  
Snape just glared.  
"Alright sir I assure you I won't become closed off and cold with mr black but what if he offers to keep me warm"  
"That's enough I don't need to hear things like that coming from a slytherins mouth"  
" If it makes you feel any better I'll be slytherin about it? Sir?   
Meagan got the impression he was either trying not to laugh or trying to resist banging his head against the wall.  
"Mr Kepner will be servely punished for his actions this evening and I daresay he will be expelled, as for the students that encouraged this disgusting behaviour I do believe "100 points from slytherin"  
Meagan gasped "but sir you never"  
"Maybe they'll learn not to encourage casting unforgivables on fellow classmates" he snarled.  
Meagan grabbed her bag ready to leave  
"One more thing before you go"  
Meagan rolled her eyes.  
"You're not to go up to the owlery or the astronomy tower without me or professor lupin Present, is that understood"  
"Not really sir... oh Jesus you don't think I'd jump do you!"  
"Well we don't want you having any... desires to do yourself harm now do we"  
"I'm hardly suicidal"  
"Mm"  
"But sir where am I going to.."  
Shit. Shit shit   
"Smoke ? Oh I daresay you'll find a way miss Cardosa. Now if you would. Goodnight".


	12. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapters set in the present once Meagan has become Olivia shay, the dream is a flashback to Halloween.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * mentions of blood and crime scenes and guns and dead bodies*
> 
> James and Lily and Harry were attacked on Halloween night in this, however they all survive and I've obviously changed it so a little explanation. Harry is a little older than one when this happens. This happens 2 years after Meagan had joined the order and the fbi. This chapter ( the present) occurs about 3 years after the events that led up to Meagan becoming Olivia shay. I know it's all a bit wonky but don't let that put you off please.i have put a lot of thought into this story and the characters and not as much to the timings of things and I've ready many fics where there has been time turners and time travel and even some where they explain how they worked it all out and just reading some of the technicalities makes my brain hurt . Enough of my stupidity though. Here we goo....

Meagan Sat on the groggy couch in her groggy hotel room and sparked up a cig. Well it was more than just a cig but no one needed to know that, she had been summoned back to England only 4 hours ago having being told that voldermort was making a move to attack the potters and their son. They had gone into hiding and only the secret keeper had known where, Meagan didn't know how much help she could be since she didn't know where they were but she had come all the same.   
She wasn't having a very good week, there was a serial killer on the loose in Wyoming and the unsub had already slaughtered 3 families in as many weeks in their homes. The bau unit had flown in in the hopes of catching him but they'd only been there a week and the unsub would kill again before the weeks end. The town's people were getting edgy, the local cops were getting impatient and the press were just getting downright nasty , but we're they ever not?  
The team had understood that meagan had to 'fly home for a ' family emergency' but her partner, Jason Gideon, was not impressed. He wasn't one for being nice but they got one quite well considering, he always had her back and she the same. Meagan had visited his house a few times and had pulled living butterflies from behind his twin 5 year olds ears, which had delighted them. Jason Gideon was a wise man, and whilst Meagan hadnt told him she was a witch she wouldn't be surprised if he knew. Every month, once a month, after the full moon, Meagan would come into work to find a black coffee and a bar of chocolate on her desk, Jason never ever mentioned it was him, but she knew, he could see the pain in her eyes. The tiredness on her face. And she was a damm good profiler even if she was young enough to be his daughter. He liked her, but hed never say so.

Meagan heard a desperate knock on her door that startled her out of her trance.  
"Meg, meg are you in there?? Open up please it's an emergency"  
Shit Shit Shit   
"Just a sec "  
Meagan cast a spell to get rid of the smell of pot.  
It was James who had obviously 'alohamora'd' the door.  
"Are you fucking insane"  
" don't use that language in front of my son"  
Harry was in his car seat.  
"Oh like he can hear me"  
" JAMES If you would like to explain why we've just barged in here that would be fantastic " Lily scolded   
"Right of course, sorry meg" he said with a pathetic grin.  
" I, sorry we think that Sirius had this mad idea to change secret keeper at the last minute , you know because of his   
"Yeah his brother death eater and all, carry on"  
"There's a spy in the order meg"  
"Well that much is obvious" Meagan said with a sigh  
"No but what if it's him?? I mean with his history"  
"You mean regulus's history, James don't you see? If he has changed keeper than that's the one reason you shouldn't suspect him, now he can't tell anyone where you are.. not that he would he's your best mate for goodness sake"  
"I suppose but we don't know who we can trust anymore , I just don't know anything for certain"  
Meagans phone started ringing loudly which woke up Harry.  
" Agent cardosa"  
/agent Cardosa, my name is detective bassio from the London metropolitan office, I'm sorry to inform you that your partner has been killed/  
"Excuse me but I think your mistaken there's no way.. wait did you say london"  
/yes ma'am, your partner is Jason Gideon of the behavioural analysis unit is it not/  
Meagan went white as a sheet.  
"Yes"  
/we need you to come and make a formal identification at the crime scene, I'll send you the co ordinates/  
" I, I, can't do this now I'm, indispoesd at the moment detective"  
/you are in the country aren't you/  
" as I said I'm busy detective , I'll arrange an identification first thing" Meagan hung up the phone.  
Unable to say any more she turned back to her friends.  
"What is it? Are you alright? Oh god is it Sirius? Is he dead"  
"My, my partner , he's been killed , I I don't.. no he wasn't supposed to be in the country, no he can't be"  
"Meg, you need to go and sort this, just drop us off on the way we'll be alright won't we james"  
"Um yeah, if your sure lils"  
"You are safe to drive aren't you?"   
"I'm not an invalid I just got some bad news I'll be fine, come on"  
They drove in silence along the empty roads towards James and Lilys safe house, the drive had sent Harry back to sleep but James had a few choice words for Meagan   
"Would it kill you to drive a little less than a fucking maniac with my son and wife in the back of your car meg"  
"Dont use that language in front of your son james" she said trying to lighten the mood. It didnt work  
Meagan pulled up to a plain looking house with two pumpkins on the doorstep, "Well here we are , I'll come check on you in the morning alright, you will be safe won't you" Meagan said.  
"You've got other things to think about meg, go , honestly and I'm sorry about your partner"  
"Yeah me too meg, so see you tomorrow then"   
Meagan gave a half hearted wave and drove much faster to the crime scene.   
There was police everywhere coming in and out of the house, there were reporters behind the yellow tape snapping pictures of whatever they could. Meagan got out of her car and made her way through the crowd, flashing her badge at the officer stationed at the tape , he nodded for her to go in.  
"Agent cardosa, we spoke on the phone , I see you decided to come after all"  
"Where's the body "  
"Aren't you a little young to be an fbi agent?"  
"Where is his body detective"  
"This way"  
Meagan followed him up the wooden stairs, careful to avoid the body that was splayed across half the staircase, she made her way down the corridor to a room at the far end when she gasped.  
It was Gideon .  
There was so much blood, all up the walls and on the ceiling, his gun was not too far from his hand which he had obviously been trying to reach when..  
" a shootout no doubt agent Cardosa "  
"It seems so yes"  
Detective bassio shot her a strange glance, "I'll er give you a minute"  
Meagan slowly made her way to where her partner lay slain, tears pricked her eyes as she crouched down to him.  
"You weren't supposed to be here , what on earth were you thinking "  
"You know the dead can't talk"  
Meagan shot up, she hadnt seen the csi in the room earlier.  
" I'm Dr Michael Hoyt, crime scene investigator and pathologist"  
"Lovely"  
"The polite thing would be to introduce yourself" he said with a malicious smile  
Meagan wasn't about to small talk over her partners dead body.  
"Agent cardosa , Meagan cardosa"  
She didn't reach to shake his hand.  
"What a pretty name"  
Enough. Meagan walked out of the room and braced herself on the bannister, she was struggling to process why him? Why did it have to be him? She felt weak, then she felt a powerful surge of magic coming from nearby.

What the  
"Oh holy fucking shit"  
Meagan ran down the stairs almost knocking two officers to the ground  
"You know agent shay, if your quick, you might be able to save the boy before he is obliterated just like his parents , run along now, you won't want to miss this"

Meagan felt sick

Turning on her heel she saw the csi from earlier leaning over the banister with an evil grin on his face.

" PLEASE I think my husband is in there you have to let me in"  
"I'm sorry ma'am you can't go in there, it's not a pretty sight"  
"Agent cardosa? Oh meagan what are you doing here? Oh oh god is it him?   
Meagan waved to signal the hysterical woman through, trailing behind her were two horror stricken 5 year olds.  
"I'm sorry Jess , he's dead"  
"Oh god, no,no,no," Meagan walked her over to a paramedic and sat her down on the stretcher.   
"Jess I have to go, I'm sorry this is really important but I'll be back I promise"  
Jess just curled up sobbing.  
"Is my daddy okay agent Cardosa? What's wrong with mummy? I want my daddy"  
"Come here girls, you know what heaven is Yeah? Well your daddy's in heaven now okay, he'll still be with you though"   
Both girls broke down in sobs, another officer came and took over.

Meagan hopped straight in her car not bothering to do her belt and drove for what seemed like forever but it was only ten minutes, when she pulled up her breathe caught in her chest.  
The whole front of the house was gone, a huge gaping hole. Meagan made towards the front door not noticing the motorbike in the drive.  
Meagan held her breathe as she wandered into the house. She couldn't hear anything, but she wouldn't if they were dead.  
No.  
Meagan got to the top of the stairs and stood in the doorway, the door had been blown off it's hinges.   
James, and Lilly were sat huddling each other with a screaming bundle between them, they were all sobbing . Sirius and remus stood not too far away speaking quietly.  
" Oh , you're here"  
Meagan chose to ignore siriuses icy tone  
" are you , are you alright" Meagan whispered.  
"He came, he came for us oh Merlin! He nearly wiped us all out but when he came for Harry, the curse rebounded and sent voldermort into god knows where oh my god Harry "  
"You're not dead"   
"They can see that meagan but they were very nearly dead so as you can imagine, the shock ,and Harry of course" said remus gently   
Harry seemed to be fine, expect for the curse scar, which was right in the middle of his forehead. But they weren't dead.  
" I swear when I find out who betrayed you they are going to wish for a demented kiss when I'm through with them"  
"Now now Sirius there's no need for that is there now"  
"Was. It. You"  
Meagan just stood there, dumbfounded.  
"Well"  
All eyes were on her.  
"How could you possibly think that, really? Was it me? Are you fucking kidding me"  
"Well you did drop them off , and remus didn't know where they were hiding and I changed keeper so that leaves you"  
Meagans phone chimed.  
Her face went pale.

It was a message from Jason Gideon, and it had only one word.

"Pettigrew"

"Oh that son of a bitch , I'm going to find him remus let me go"  
"I'm calling the rest of the order ,then we can find peter, we don't want any accidents do we"  
"Alright then but I'm furious just so everyone's aware" Sirius said with a glare that could maybe even match snapes.  
"I think you should leave meg"  
"But"  
"Just go"  
Meagan walked out without saying another word. She got all the way to her hotel room before she broke down.

 

Agent Olivia shay woke with a start, breathing heavily she clutched the covers tight, she hadnt had that flashback for a while, and whilst she didn't believe that it had any bearing on what happens in the real world, she was somewhat unsettled, sighing, she climbed out of bed to light up a cigarette. Friday's voice boomed through the speakers in the ceiling.

"Agent shay, the order of the Phoenix has arrived and director fury would like to speak with you"

Oh holy fuck this was bad.


	13. Michael Hoyt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a "flashback" to the time Meagan was working on the case that led her to becoming Olivia shay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated for a while, I started reading the mortal instruments and CANNOT put it down it's fantastic. Anyway here's a little chapter for you it took me a while to think this one up also pay no attention to the dates or the years I just made them up and I'm only using them so you can see how events line up, they don't make sense. I'm not sorry. This chapter is a little harrowing so WARNING this may contain blood and mentions of torture and serial killers and guns. Thanks to anyone who's reading this I hope you like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> Some of this content is taken straight out of episodes of criminal minds and also the mentalist and obviously I don't own these characters. This took me nearly 2 hours to write and it isn't proof read.

2nd October 2010  
"Laura Doyle aged 24, was found exstanguated in her apartment, she showed signs of being restrained and autopsy results show that the unsub put scalpels through her palms whilst he..assulted her, sexually. She was alive for 17 hours before the unsub slit her throat. Crime scene photos are in the files I gave you since they are far far to graphic to put up on this screen and I can't look at them. I need to go look at kitties and puppies now. Oh and one more thing the unsub left a signature, he drew a smiley face which doesn't connect at the top on the wall in her blood. I'll be in my office washing out my eyes if you need me." Meagan watched as everybodys favourite tech analyst left the briefing room.  
"Long curly dark brown hair, skinny face with bright facial features, this could be a preference hotch" said Emily staring down at her file.  
"We only have the one victim so far and we shouldn't assume the unsub won't kill again but it's worth looking at similar women who fit the victims description"  
Everyone nodded in agreement.  
"Alright wheels up in 30"

17th April 2011  
Garcia stood in front of the screen anxiously waiting for the team to arrive, it was 3am and unfortunately killers weren't considerate about what time they murdered someone.  
Meagan was the first to arrive, "You don't look like I just dragged you out of bed in the middle of the night"  
"Garcia it's morning, and I wasn't asleep"  
Penelopes eyes twinkled.  
"What do we have Garcia," jj said looking worse for wear  
"Isabelle Cruz , 26 ,found with her throat slit in her home, she had scalpels through her hands when she was found, a smiley face which doesn't connect at the top was drawn on the floor next to her body"  
"Its him"  
"He's back"  
"Its been six months since the last one, do you think he was incarcerated or something?" Said Meagan  
"Its possible", agreed Rossi, she looks very similar to Laura Doyle but Isabelle Cruz is spanish and Laura was an American"  
"Look for any similarities in both cases people they both knew maybe met the same person at a coffee shop"  
Meagan looked down at the file in her hands, looking at the crime scene photos never got easier, you just got used to it, until one would remind you of someone you knew and it would make you rethink your life choices of catching murderers. One name jumped out at her on the list of personell who attended to the crime scene.  
"Hey Garcia you got the Laura Doyle file"  
"Yeah, why"  
"Just give it here"  
Meagan scanned the list, the same name appeared again.  
Michael Hoyt.  
"Oh god" she whispered.  
"What is it Cardosa" said hotch, everyone looked to her.  
"The same csi tech worked on both cases, that would usually be common but across states? And I'm sure I've heard this name before I just ..." she trailed off.  
"Don't you think they look a bit like.. You meg" said Garcia softly. Derek shot her a look.  
"He's worth a look at, Cardosa and Rossi you go check him out and see if he has an alibi, Morgan and prentiss go look at the crime scene and Reid you stay behind and see if you can find any patterns"  
"Why is it I'm the one who has to stay behind"  
"That's what happens when your so smart, boy genius" Meagan said with a smirk, trying to hide her uneasiness.

Rossi and Meagan pulled up to the hospital where Garcia had said Michael Hoyt spent his free time, as a blood analyst for victims of sexual assault.  
"You know you drive like a maniac"  
"Shut up, I drive fine"  
"Yeah, for a maniac" Rossi said.  
They were escorted to the hospitals labs by a formidable looking nurse who reminded Meagan of Madame pomfrey.  
"Michael Hoyt, fbi" Rossi said as he pushed open the door.  
He didn't look up from his microscope.  
"I'm agent Rossi and this is my partner agent cardosa, we need to ask you a few questions about your whereabouts two days ago"  
"Agent cardosa, that's a pretty name" he said, finally looking up, Meagan went white and gripped the metal table behind her.  
Rossi looked at her confused.  
"As for my whereabouts, I was at the brass pig bar all night until well past last orders and was there at the time of the murder of poor Isabelle cruz"  
"We didn't say we were here about a murder"  
"No agent Rossi you didn't but when you've done what I do for so long you get to know the faces , the expressions, the routines, and before you ask, here's the bars contact details, I'm on the security tape" he said with a tone of finality and peered back into his microscope. "Well be in touch Mr Hoyt"  
"Its doctor" he said with a sick grin.  
Rossi had Garcia check out the bar footage, Michael Hoyt had an airtight alibi.

"What was that in there? It's not like you to freeze up Meagan, what's going on? I know I'm not Gideon but I'm still your partner" Meagan stared blankly ahead and lit a cigarette. " he said I had a pretty name" "I know I heard, there's something off about him"  
" the night Gideon died, the csi who was collecting evidence from his body, told me I had a pretty name, he told me as I was leaving that.. nevermind, that's where I've heard of him before, he was there rossi"

Over the next few years amongst the many cases the bau investigated, the same killer kept popping up over and over , the same grim smiley face on the walls in blood, the same victims who started looking strikingly like agent Meagan Cardosa. The team had established that even though he had an alibi, Michael Hoyt was the likely suspect in the serial killings but he went from state to state without showing up on flight manifests or boats or any form of muggle transportation to be honest. That doesn't mean he didn't do it though. Another realisation from the team was that meagan was likely the "subject of his affection" and that didn't bode well, she had a protective detail when she was home and wherever she went that wasn't work which got very annoying when she was visiting Sirius and remus and James and Lily. They remained friends through all of the turmoil of voldermort trying to murder the potters and Meagan being the one who dropped them off, she was forgiven , but things weren't the same, not like they used to be , they never would be.

23rd August 2016  
" We think that we found his base of operations, the unsub were looking for is Dr Michael Hoyt, 57 , he's wanted for the murder of at least 26 women that we know of and he will be armed." Hotch said as he addressed the swat team all geared up ready to kick down a door. Meagan had had enough of this damm psycho killing people that looked like her , and she was on edge all the time as it is.  
There was rumours in the order that there was a spy, it had got 6 members killed on the last mission they went on, Meagan was on that mission, they were ambushed outnumbered by at least 20 death eaters and Meagan and Sirius had been the only ones who came home that night. Meagan knew the spy wasn't her obviously but given her history she wasn't so sure the other order members would be as trusting as her friends. And Dumbledore was being weird. Meagan had been in contact with the elusive Nick fury just in case things went to shit and she needed a quick escape, it was chief Strauss who had set up their first meeting. 

The swat team booted down the door of the abandond warehouse and cleared the building before prentiss, Rossi, Reid, hotch, jj , cheif strauss, who was there because she wanted this son of a bitch caught and it didnt reflect well upon her to have a sadistic killer kidnapping and torturing women across the us,and Meagan entered. The team advanced to an empty space apart from a battered table and a computer in the corner, shining his torch toward the back wall Rossi stepped back in horror.  
"You best come and look at this, everybody"  
Meagan gasped when her light joined her partners. Hundreds of pictures of her over the years hung like wallpaper, pictures of Meagan on order missions with her wand poised in front of her, at the coffee shop she went to every morning, at the top of the rosewood clock tower, the night Jason Gideon died, the day she was bitten, her whole life, in pictures. "I think it's time you give that friend a call agent cardosa" Cheif Strauss whispered in her ear. 

Meagan apparated straight to Sirius house, apparating cross country wasnt usually too draining but it was the full moon in 11 days and she was bloody knackered, she banged on the door constantly until he finally opened the door.  
"Meg what a wonderful surprise I didn't know you were coming tonight, hey what's up?  
Meagan gave him and only him a brief explanation of what was happening and that she was terrified because he was spiralling and that only ended one way.  
Meagan was going to go home that night, but she collapsed into Sirius arms after that and he kissed her forehead and carried her up the stairs to his bed. He stared down at her tiny frame and signed, she looked awful, she was pale and her hair was never her trademark green tips anymore, it was just black , she changed it every so often around him because she knew it made him smile "one day im gonna make your hair turn bright pink Meagan Cardosa, just you wait" she looked fed up, even fast asleep, she wouldn't sleep all night, she never did anymore. Sirius tucked her in and kissed her forehead again, "goodnight love" he said as he shut the door.

Meagan woke up panting, drenched in sweat,Another nightmare, the same nightmare she had every night, the one where James and Lily died. She sighed and flung the covers back and made her way to the window to smoke, staring out over the black starry sky. She didn't know how long she sat there but she jolted awake a few hours later.  
"Shit Shit Shit I'm gonna be late for work why the fuck did I think it would be a good idea to stay here all night oh for fuck sake" she muttered as she hopped around dressing herself as she cursed. She silently made her way down the stairs so not to wake anyone who might of stayed last night and she was going to just walk out the door when something made her hair stand on edge. The door to the kitchen was closed but she could hear voices on the other side.  
"Look Sirius I know you like her but do you really like her? I mean sure she's nice to look at and she's probably good in bed but seriously? You can't honestly say you love her? She's a s l y t h e r I n and she's a dark witch!  
"Prongs, I can take care of myself and I don't need you interfering and being a slytherin doesn't make you evil Jesus mate what's got into you?"  
"Yeah but being a dark witch does? Do you know who her family is?? Her sister? I wouldn't be surprised if she was just like her sister she's just better at hiding it , I can't believe I let her be godmother to my son pads! My son! Someone like her! I bet she's the spy aswell she's the only one that makes sense!"  
"James I can assure you that megs not a spy she's your friend, she's loyal, and she would die for anyone of us and you know it" said remus soft voice.  
"We should have gotten rid of her the night that the dark Lord came for my family" James growled  
"JAMES POTTER THAT IS ENOUGH FROM YOU said Lily who had just entered the kitchen, who had to pass Meagan standing with silent tears rolling down her cheeks.  
But it was too late, Sirius stood up and made for the front door before it slammed shut in his face.

"Okay jj you all set for the press conference at 10?"  
"Yeah, got his picture and a picture of meg to alert any similar looking women to stay indoors after dark, we'll get him hotch "  
"I'll do it"  
Everyone turned to stare at Meagan who had just stepped off the elevator.  
"Oh my god she took the elevator, that's not good oh god this is bad"  
"I was just running late Garcia it's no big deal"  
"You NEVER get in that coffin on a string contraption as you so call it, you say it's cursed"  
"You are absolutely not doing this conference cardosa"  
"Oh yeah, I am , Hoyt will be livid, the object of his affection, calling him a sadistic sob on live television? Holding a picture of herself to warn potential victims? It's brilliant! Hell spiral even further and hopefully make a mistake"  
"Its delusional" said Reid  
"She has a point" said Rossi, and everyone muttered in agreement.

 

"The person we are on the look out for is Michael Hoyt, aged 53 , white male , no scars or identifying marks, he just looks like your average American citizen who has a thirst for killing innocent women, therefore we are urging all Hispanic and white females between the ages of 21-28 with long hair to stay indoors after dark for their safety, Mr Michael Hoyt will not stop until he is captured or killed, thankyou for your time and we will not be taking questions" Meagan said as she practically strutted from the podium.  
"53? Average citizen? Not calling him doctor, I have to say meagan I'm impressed, he's defiantly gonna be pissed after watching that!"  
Meagan said nothing, her mind still on the things she heard that morning. She sat at her desk which was overflowing with paperwork and began to work. It felt like days when she finally looked up from the reports.  
"Earth to agent cardosa,helloooo??? Go home sweet cheeks , you look half dead ! Go get some sleep god knows you need it" Penelope said as she left work for the night. Rubbing her temples she sighed and grabbed her bag, without even thinking about it she wandered to the elevator and pushed the button impatiently.  
"Come onnn"  
Finally the doors dinged open and she stepped in, tapping her fingers against the wall she reached the garage and got into her car. Pulling up to her apartment building she didn't notice the cops she usually brought coffee for every night didn't say anything but she shrugged it off, walking up the stairs her phone rang.  
"Agent cardosa"  
"Its fury, where are you  
"I'm about to go into my apartment , why"  
She walked down the corridor leading to her apartment at the end  
Her door was slightly ajar  
Pulling her gun from her hip she pushed it open slowly  
"Meagan you have to get out of there, Michael Hoyt, Meagan he's working for albus Dumbledore"  
But it was too late  
As she pushed the door open she dropped her bag and the phone she had been holding, her breath caught in her chest as she took in the sight before her

on the wall, was a smiley face, not connecting at the top, drawn in blood.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's heavy on the violence and torture. Sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I know I've not updated in forever and I am sorry to anyone following this if anyone, I've been so so busy working and I have a family and it's so tiring sometimes I've literally not had the energy or the motivation/imagination to write so this one maybe a little lacking but I'm trying my best. Sort of.

It took a couple of hours for the bau team to notice one of their own was missing. Garcia text the team in the middle of the night about a new case that had just come in in California. Meg didn't show up, they waited as long as they could.  
"Reid and Morgan you two work the case from here and the rest of us will fly over, also agent cardosa hasn't shown up so will you trace her cell and see what's going on" hotch informed the team.  
"Copy that" said Morgan.  
* a few hours later*  
"Hey hotch, Garcia traced megs phone and it's been at home since the early hours of this morning, I'm gonna swing by and see if everything's okay, she seemed a little off yesterday but she's not one to just not turn up hotch"  
"Alright Morgan just be careful, the case is wrapping up we got a suspect we just need a confession, let me know what happens".

Morgan drove over with Reid to meagans apartment, her car was on the front of the bulidng and he couldn't see any lights on, "alright pretty boy, stay sharp".  
When they made it up to her floor Morgan and Reid immediately reached for their guns, her door was hanging half open and they slowly inched forward.   
"Hey meg you in here?"  
Morgan pushed the door with his shoulder.   
"We better call the team" Reid mumbled as he stared at the bloody signature on the wall, and the mess that was obviously left by a struggle.

No one went home, no one left the building except to get a decent coffee whilst everyone worked non stop until she was found, and Michael Hoyt didn't make it easy. He sent them videos. Videos of her tied to a chair, blood pouring from her face and her shirt torn open whilst he taunted from behind the camera whether she would live long enough to be saved. The feed cut off as he was undoing his trouser belt. Garcia left the room with tears stinging her eyes, even her bright office and kittens couldn't tear her thoughts away from what he was doing to her, they all knew what he did to his victims, and the team soon figured out Meagan cardosa was the object of his sick crusade all along. What they didn't see on the video, was the times he dragged his thin blade across her thighs and down her sternum, they didn't see him pick up a wand and spit crucios at her like it was nothing. Meagan had got to 18 before she passed out. Every time she was near dead, he brought her round with some kind of drug. " I'm not done with you yet my sweet, you don't get to die on me" and each time he did, it left Meagan one step closer to begging him to let her die. She tried to focus on Sirius and remus and little harry and James and Lily and all the happy times they had shared, and then she remembered the way they changed after that Halloween night, and she remembered the conversation she'd overheard just days ago, Had it only been days? She didn't know anymore, the pain was unbearable and she held on, she held on as best she could.

10 days.  
It had been 10 days since agent Meagan cardosa had been kidnapped by a maniac. And the bau had finally had a breakthrough. They'd pinged cell phone towers around abandoned buildings and found the same burner phone visiting the same warehouse multiple times, some of which matched the times they'd received the videos.

The team were visibly agitated as they knew that the chances of finding her alive were slim. They had all taken it hard, Reid and Rossi especially with Reid being the second youngest before meg they got on so well and Rossi being her partner was just so angry.   
They entered the warehouse and found the door to the basement, hotch kicked it open with no prior warning.   
"MICHAEL HOYT FBI" He yelled.  
He heard the shifting of feet and then the clatter of metal on concrete. He was down there. His arms held up in surrender. A smirk on his face.   
"Your too late, agent hotchner" he taunted.  
Morgan shone his torch to the instrument he had dropped, it was a bloody scalpel, his torch shone to the back of the basement where he saw her. 

Tied to a chair with her head slumped forward and blood gushing from her carotid artery.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad  
> I'm sorry   
> But not really

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow look at this 2 chapters in 2 days! Aren't the few of you ( if anyone except from the angel who keeps on commenting) is reading this lucky haha! So I don't have this in a draft or written somewhere else to go back to i literally just write what I've got in my head. Also disclaimer or whatever I am not American and also * not an f b I agent* even though I sometimes wish I was so if I offend anyone with my terrible geography skills like idk if the bau would like fly to California from dc? Would they take the cars? It's an au anyway so let's pretend I kinda know what I'm talking about . Also if I ever don't update for a super long time I've not abandoned this story I'll come back to it eventually.

Sirius didn't want to believe it, he really didn't, but his friends were right. Nobody had seen meg since that morning she overheard them. James said she had obviously had enough and gone full on double agent and joined the dark side. Sirius said it was his fault for not believing her in the first place. James had called him stupid for not seeing through her facade.   
"Mate just move on, she's gone she's not coming back pads, I knew we couldn't trust her and now we haven't seen her for 10 days and Merlin knows what secrets she's been spilling to the death eaters. She was the spy .   
"There must be another explanation, something, anything!" Sirius mumbled to his hands, which were over his face, his fingers stretched to rub his temples. "Rem?"  
"I'm sorry pads but I think James is right, who disappears for 10 days without any Contact with her friends?"  
"She said she was being targeted by a killer, that hed been watching her for years"  
"Cover story mate, classic, then no one would question in right pads! She put the idea in your head so you'd pity her and all the while who knows! She's probably been appararating right to death eater hq and relaying information whilst sucking dolohov off or something mate!"  
Sirius was not impressed with James at this moment.   
Nor was Lily for that matter.

Over hundreds of miles away, in the er waiting room, sat the members of the bau. Ssa David Rossi had tears ready to fall as they waited. He had ridden in the ambulance with his partner, silently praying for her to stay alive, to hang on. She had flatlined in the ambulance and it was then that David felt the tears first spring to his eyes. The light of the full moon shone through the far to bright for 3am waiting room and it illuminated the worn features of the team. Hotch was clutching his paper coffee cup so hard it might burst, Garcia was just sobbing, doing nothing to hide it, Rossi was staring at the ground, the rest of the team were just as anxious, finally, after 3 hours of waiting, the surgeon appeared, he pushed open the double doors and took off his scrub cap, he hooked his had a together and let them rest below his stomach.

"I'm sorry...   
He began...

Hotch dropped his coffee cup  
Garcia fell to her knees  
Reid got up to rest his hand on Garcia's shoulders  
Rossi walked out  
Emily and jj clutched each other's hands   
Morgan jaw visibly clenched  
Cheif Strauss steadied herself against the reception desk  
They weren't ready to hear them words  
They hadnt prepared for this  
They weren't ready  
It wasn't fair  
She was the youngest member of the team  
She was family  
And she   
Was gone.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of sexual assault( not described at all) , again sad sad sad  
> Angst   
> All the marauders are dicks in this one  
> Whoops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow wow wow I really am being kind today, another chapter, here goeeees

Erin had insisted strenuously that she be the one to inform her friends back in England, hotch had asked " Did she have any family?"  
"We were her family" was the reply he and the team got.  
It had been 2 days and they still hadnt processed the events that had occurred.  
Rossi still hadnt shown up for work, he had text saying to leave him be for a little while and that was it.   
Garcia absolutely refused to leave her office other than to go to the bathroom and leaving to go home.  
Erin apparated to London that morning, and with a solemn face she made her way to 11 grimmauld place.

" Rem will you get the door for me I'm still in the shower"   
Remus grumbled from his chair in the kitchen, James and Lily and Harry Had stayed over last night and since it was almost the full moon remus wasn't really in a partying mood so hed offered to stay sober and watch out for little harry.

"Fbi, sir I'm looking for a mr Sirius black, is he here?"  
"Yes this is his house, may I ask what this is about agent.."  
"Chief Strauss, erin strauus" she moved to step inside.  
Remus went to the bathroom door, "Sirius the fbi is here and she wants to talk to you so god knows if you did something you better have a good damm cover story."  
Sirius had never got out of the shower and dressed so fast.   
When he came out Lily and James had joined remus and the unit cheif in the living room.   
"Mr black, I'm Bau unit cheif Erin Strauss..  
"I know who you are ma'am, may I ask why your here at this delightful hour of the morning?"   
" Its listed here that you are Meagan cardosas emergency contact and next of kin is that correct?"  
Sirius straightened up and tensed.  
"It is, why, what did she do" He said rather distastefully.  
Erin Strauss had informed many families of the death of a loved one and fellow agent and she was no stranger to having to keep her emotions at bay, but this was a struggle.   
Erins hand clutched the brown folder in her hand a little tighter.   
"What are you here to tell us that she's gone mad and betrayed you like she did to us huh? Asked James   
"Excuse me"? Erin exclaimed shocked.  
"We haven't seen her for 12 days now, we suspected her of working for the other side and this has just confirmed our suspicisons so I'm sorry if she's done the same to you but we can't help you"   
Erin was beyond fuming.  
She cleared her throat. 

" I am sorry to inform you but agent Meagan cardosa died two days ago after being kidnapped, tortured, sexually assaulted and subject to a number of awful curses which I'm sure you're aware of, a doctor Michael Hoyt was arrested at the scene and will be charged with the murder of a federal agent and the murders of 24 women that we know of, he had her for ten days ,she put up one hell of a fight.   
I'm sorry for your loss" 

She put the brown folder down on the coffee table.

And with that  
She left.


End file.
